In our line of work we see and experience events that can be labeled horrific and traumatizing. Sometime we go on these calls three times in a shift, and other times the events are spread out over weeks or months. But one thing remains, and that is the memory and experiences that we were exposed to on these scenes. These events stay with most of us for a very long time. And sometimes these memories come back and remind us of the hard issues we have seen and are actively trying to suppress.
Most of us have developed a “coping mechanism” to be able to deal with these events at the immediate moment they are happening. After the events have past and the incident is over, we suppress or compartmentalize the emotions that we experienced. And we tell ourselves, and sometimes we tell others, that this is a necessary trait in order to maintain an ongoing presence in this profession. But what happens when you can’t compartmentalize these events or the box just becomes too full to hold any more memories? What happens when your body and mind tell you that you are human and that you are impacted by trauma and horror? Where do you turn?
Last month (June) was national post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) awareness month. How many of us knew that? Did your department, your officer, or any of your brothers or sisters approach you to make sure everything was going alright? Has anybody ever approached you about the signs of PTSD? For a majority of us, I’ll bet not. And I bet I know why. It is because all of us past, present, and future have created and continue to support an environment of “I can handle this” and “Tough it out” type mentalities. In some regards, we have yet to start living up to the meaning of truly being someone’s “Brother” or “Sister”.
This issue of PTSD came full circle to me about two months ago when a firefighter from a fire department I used to work at committed suicide. He was off duty at the time and his very own brothers and sisters that he had worked with for years had to respond to his call to try and save his life. I had just seen John in January when I was visiting old friends and colleagues, and he was the same outstanding individual I had known him to be in years past. I remember the day my old BC informed me of what happened earlier that day the night of his death. And even though I haven’t worked for that department in years, the impact of this loss lasted with me for days. I cannot imagine the pain and suffering that those members who responded on this incident went thru. No one should ask these or any responders in similar situations to hold these emotions inside. Nobody asked them to then or now, but I wonder how many of them are holding these emotions in because of the environment that was in place in the fire service for years?
Recently a new firefighter in my department went on his first run that ultimately ended with the patient dying. As I arrived on the scene I recall seeing that gazed look in his eyes that told me he was emotionally frozen. All of us have probably seen that ‘frozen’ look on other faces before, and have probably worn it once or twice ourselves. Most of the time we experience this state in our early years of service. After the incident concluded I spent a good period of time talking with this new firefighter about the scene, how to handle the emotion he was experiencing, and perhaps most importantly how not to be afraid of his emotions. It was a couple days later I followed up with him just to see how he was doing with everything. I am not a counselor, but that doesn't mean that I can’t care for the firefighters I work with. And by care I mean more than written or publically spoken words. Caring for our brothers and sisters should be a verb to all of us; caring requires action!
Here in Washington State almost all of us in the emergency services have probably heard of Safe Call Now. If you haven’t heard of it, please look it up and bookmark their page and write their phone number down. And take it one step further- enter their phone number into every phone you own. And while you are at it, make sure to include your departments Employee Assistance Program (EAP) number as well. It makes simple sense if you think about it. If you are only given one chance to help your brother or sister in their time of need, would it not be convenient to have the needed number immediately available rather than having to call them back and risk losing them while you researched it.
Those who are called to this profession do so primarily because they desire and possess the talent of caring for their neighbors. And they do so with pride and honor. But in caring for our neighbors we too need to realize that other firefighters, other EMT’s, other police officers are our neighbors as well. And they too need caring for from time to time. Our fire service family needs to be a better family. We need to bring family back into the fire house. It is an inside job that no other can do. We must do it ourselves if we really care about this profession. We must look out for one another and we must take the time to set our schedules aside when one of our teammates requires our attention. We must take the time to learn to recognize what PTSD looks like. And ultimately, we must take the time to recognize when we ourselves are being stressed too far. Because if every one of us understands that overtime stress can be a killer, then we won’t feel ashamed to ask for help. And if everyone isn't afraid of feeling ashamed by their peers, then we shouldn't lose any more firefighters to suicide.
Be the Safety Officer after the call. Look out for one another and they will look out for you.
Ryan Scharnhorst
Board Member, Training, Safety & Officers Section