By Bill Adams

It’s not easy getting old. I’ve tried readdressing SafeSpeak and TechnoSpeak since last March. Either some major world event happens or I just forget about it. When there’s time to address it, my computer screen has a gazillion of them little manila folders and I can’t remember where I filed the damn thing. The topic originally started over coffee when the Raisin Squad started busting my stones because I claimed some vendors can talk for 20 minutes without answering a question.

SafeSpeak and TechnoSpeak are two words I plucked out of thin air – or thought I did. I’m either semi-wrong or half-right because TechnoSpeak is a real word. Both mean pretty much the same thing. My online research seeking formal descriptions of synonymous words found another real word – Technobabble. One description is: “technical jargon incomprehensible to non-specialists; — sometimes used derogatorily of discussions using unnecessarily technical terminology and intended to impress or confuse, rather than inform, the listener.”  Another description: “Technical or scientific language used in fiction to convey a false impression of meaningful technical or scientific content.” Yet another is: “From the point of view of the layperson, technical and scientific literature not understood.”   

I tried explaining the definitions to the geezers over coffee. It wasn’t working. One white hair said: “That’s how you salesman get away with lying.” I retorted I’m no longer a salesman; I’m retired. “Well, you used to be one.” Another said: “You guys might not lie, but you don’t always tell the truth. Have you people ever just said you don’t know?” The kicker was: “Sure. Ask a damn question and you get a bunch of BS. It is doubtful he was talking about baloney sandwiches.

Following are some examples of possible answers – or baloney sandwich statements – that some vendors can lay on members of an apparatus purchasing committee when asked a question they don’t want to or can’t answer.

Is this cab and chassis your most popular model? “You’ll really enjoy driving this rig. It handles like a Cadillac and just like a Cady, its interior is well appointed. All of our customers that have them love them. They say they wouldn’t buy anything else. If you’d like, we can make arrangements to bring one to your station so all your members can test drive it. They’ll love it too.”

How long have you been building this particular model chassis? “Our company is one of the oldest and most respected manufacturers of fire apparatus in the country. In fact, it started when the original owner began fabricating horse drawn apparatus before the turn of the century. It has been a leading pioneer in the use and development of motorized fire apparatus. It still is today. Our reputation speaks for itself.”

Are all of your service technicians EVT certified? “That is an excellent question. It’s an important topic that more purchasing committees should be concerned with. In the late 1980s the International Association of Fire Chiefs initiated the first formal program to certify fire apparatus mechanics. It has evolved into a curriculum today for Emergency Vehicle Technicians that has different levels of certifications for specific fields of expertise like apparatus, ambulances and crash trucks. There are different tests that must be taken and passed including one to be recertified. Additionally, most of the major suppliers of fire apparatus components provide certifications for mechanics who successful

Mechanicsburg Borough Council last week approved a 0.25-mill increase in the municipal fire tax to help the fire department finance the construction of a new $8 million station, victoriaadvocate.com reported.

By a unanimous vote, council hiked the tax from 0.75 mills to 1 mill at the request of the Mechanicsburg Volunteer Fire Department, which wants to build the 25,000-square-foot station at the corner of York and Simpson streets where the Citizens Fire Company building sits, the report said.

Since 2015, nearly $700,000 has been invested in site design and land acquisition for the new station, which will cost an estimated $8 million, according to the report.

That estimate includes about $180,000 to demolish not just the old Citizens station but also three adjoining properties, a fire official said. About $6.5 million has been set aside for construction and about $800,000 in contingency, according to the report.

The fire department anticipates construction to take 12 to 18 months.

The following is the capital campaign mission statement:

“We envision a modern fire department facility that will serve the Mechanicsburg community for the next 100 years. It will serve as a small gathering place for community events, provide classroom and meeting space for our members, and further galvanize the Mechanicsburg Fire Department as one since the 2019 merger.

“The downtown fire station and the current station on York Street have served the community well. However, major improvements will cost more to meet the current and future needs of each location when compared to consolidating into one new building. The existing station layouts do not properly separate living and eating space from vehicles and equipment to optimize the safety and health of our personnel and practically, there is no room for expansion downtown.

“Our plan is to build a new, modern fire department building at the corner of York and Simpson Streets. All fire apparatus and personnel will be housed together in one facility. Additionally, this facility will become the home for Penn State Life Lion EMS in the Mechanicsburg area.”

A motorist, trapped after his car struck a fire truck on the scene of an earlier accident, was freed following an early morning crash on I-295 in Cherry Hill (NJ), fire officials said.

While responding to a separate accident early Saturday morning, Cherry Hill Fire Department’s Rescue Ladder 13 was struck by a passing vehicle, the fire department said in a statement.

A man is in custody after allegedly crashing into a Phoenix fire truck early Saturday morning near 24th and Roosevelt streets, abc15.com reported.

The man who wedged his car under the fire truck was allegedly driving while intoxicated, the report said. Authorities say no one was hurt in the crash.

The man was detained and processed for DUI, according to the report.