By Bill Adams
What burns my bottom, besides a grass fire with three-foot tall flames, is the embracing of political correctness in the fire service and the industry that supplies it. There are almost six million hits when “political correctness” is entered onto one Web site search engine. In my simple world of being a commentator or an observer, I am not supposed to write anything that might remotely offend the rest of the people on this planet. Commentary must stay on the plus side of advertisers as well as the editorial hierarchy. That is a hard job.
Secondly, fire apparatus end users cannot be affronted. Sometimes reporting on what appears to be reality takes second place to consequences. Being politically correct is especially difficult for opinionated, biased, and traditionalist white hairs. The raisin squad at morning coffee has no problem saying “What the hell were they thinking when they bought that?” or “Whose brilliant idea was it to build that rig?” The squad does not buy or sell fire trucks, and most haven’t ridden on one since open cabs were discontinued.
It is acknowledged that what raisins consider the “good ole days” will never come back and probably shouldn’t. Experiences can be forgotten or exaggerated with time, but they cannot be taken away. If not enlightening, war stories can be humorous. A couple of my favorite topics follow—albeit probably in a highly censored and edited format. Names have been purposely omitted. Read between the lines.
• I laugh when writers search for non-offensive terms to use in lieu of hydrant man and nozzleman. Why can’t we call a spade a spade? Is calling it a shovel more appropriate? Maybe it should be called it a manually operated earth moving implement. Gee, I wonder if a fireman can use it?
• I continuously babble about in-service apparatus weights. It doesn’t matter whether it’s how much water can be carried on a single-axled pumper-tanker, what size quint can be built on a single-axled chassis, or how much water can be loaded onto a mini pumper with a limited GVWR. Some manufacturers will grumble about competitors’ rigs. Many purchasers are skeptical—believing only what their preferred vendor tells them. How come you never see the question asked in writing: How much does one of these sleds weigh when in-service fully equipped with a full crew? I wonder why manufacturers do not advertise it. Mind-boggling is why purchasers do not demand a certified weight certificate of a similar in-service rig before they spec one out and purchase it!
• I will always call a crew cab capable of holding 10 people a 10-man cab. I don’t care what kind of equipment the occupants are personally equipped with. Suck it up, people—this is the real world. And, I cannot fathom how a volunteer fire department can justify having six or seven rigs in their barn each with that crew-carrying capacity. I wonder what the average crew size is per rig per call. But, don’t ask—it might upset someone.
• It appears real rear steps (or work platforms or tailboards) are coming back on pumpers. Kudos to the people who are making the firefighters’ job safe and easy working off the back end. I wonder why decent-sized bumpers are not popular on the backs of quints. I guess manufacturers want to keep the overall length shorter than their competitors’ rigs. If a bumperless quint is rear-ended or backs into something, what pa